But I'm in a funk.
I finished out this two week pay period at 61 hours. Which is the highest in a long time. I'm still not feeling well and have forced myself to stay. It also helps that it's been busy to keep me occupied. I've started to get sharp pains in my body from time to time. The ones that worry me are the chest pains.
I had a doctors appointment today for my shot. The nurse that was helping me was the kind of creepy guy one. It seems like he's never sure of what he's doing. I started to ask him about this situation. He told me flat out I couldn't get help today with it. My appointment was for the shot only. Another nurse (one that I like) came over and said I could see the triage nurse. I talk to her, or rather cry to her. I lost it. I couldn't imagine having to wait two more weeks for anything to be done. I had a list of the next prescription for me to try in order for insurance to cover it. The triage nurse went to go see if the doctor could do anything. I ended up getting trial pills for 15 days, which will hold me over. Oh and when I told the nurse about my pains she said it could be a stomach ulcer. Nice.
I was still losing it when I got home. Once the dam is broken it's all over. I just feel like crap about everything right now. I'm not getting any better. I haven't been working very much. Money's been tight for me personally. I was told a comment about the financial state of my wedding that made me very upset and rethinking things. (not the marrying Rob part!) I don't want to be a burden on anyone. If it comes down to me having some money for the wedding or money going for things needed, I want the money to go for the other things. But then how could we afford to have a nice wedding? What would we have to go without? Could we even afford to have a wedding? That one comment has me thinking all of this.
My birthday party is tomorrow. I hope I'm out of this funk by then. I don't want to be like this. Right now what I want is Maggie Moo's to make me feel better, but I can't afford it!
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3 comments:
Brooke, I hope you don't mind me stumbling on your blog. It was one of those days where I was reading friends' blogs and bored so I started hitting links to friends of friends of friends. I don't even remember the exact path that led me here. Anyhoo, its sounds like you are going through a bit of a ruff patch. I hope that things look up for you and that your upcoming wedding is a smashing success. I know what a bitch money stuff can be. You will be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days.
Peace,
Wayne Bowerman
I can relate with ninety nine percent of what you said here. You may have to get creative with the wedding stuff... Plus it's far enough away that you will be surprised at what comes between now and then.
As far as the pain, I hope it gets better. I'll say a quick prayer tonight. And you don't know how many times I have left the doctor's office crying.
I'm sorry things are so crappy. It seems like it all comes at once doesn't it? It'll get better, just keep leaning on your friends and Rob.
Also, I hope you had a great birthday party. And happy birthday tomorrow!
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